I realized today on my way back to the apartment that my entries of late have not nearly been what I had originally planned when I thought about making a blog about my time here. I’m not going to say that it is going to change dramatically, because I’m sure it is of great help to some of you to be able to hear what I am doing on a daily basis. What I am saying is that I really am going to make more of a conscious effort to talk more about what its like to be here, not what I’m doing here.
After realizing that.. I tried to think what it is like to be here.
And I still really don’t know.
I really enjoy the city, and I like the people that I’m here with.
My Spanish is improving each day, though I still consider myself best right out of high school.
But still I don’t see myself fitting in with the city.
I’m doing well enough blending in, but as far as being part of it goes.. well I haven’t even dipped my toe in to test the water.
Sunday Becky and I are running a half marathon through the city. I’ve never in my life run more than 6 or 7 miles and if I have it was during Soccer or XC seasons in high school and those times are a long ways off.
I entered the race not for aspirations of finishing in record time or of even running well. It really has nothing to do with the physical aspects of the event itself. Basically, this Sunday I’m going on a tour of the city with 12000 other people- and it is going to hurt.
I’ve conceded that I may need to walk or maybe even stop a few times. But for 16 Euro I can’t see a better way to spend a Sunday morning.
We’ll see how I feel about the city and my being a part of it come Sunday night.
And we’ll see how my muscles feel about being attached to the brain that thought up this idea come Monday morning.
I really don’t belong here.
Studying in Barcelona is something that you do. I’ve enjoyed my time here and could see myself returning in the future for a family vacation or something of the sort, but never again will I stay here so long. I don’t know the reason that I say that really. I can’t decide if that’s the truth for Barcelona or if it just how I feel about living in a city in general.
On our trip to Andalucía people would say how beautiful a city or a cathedral was.
I could only say “Eh”
Partly, that is my style of humor I suppose. But otherwise, I think I truly did believe it. The sights that we saw were incredible especially when you consider that most of which were built without the help of machines or electricity.
But there was always something missing.
To the shock of people hearing me say that the city was “Eh” my only response could ever be, “it could use a few more trees.”
The happiest that I have been since arriving in Barcelona was on two separate occasions:
A) Our excursion to Tibidabo. At that point I’d been in Spain for about a week and a half and hadn’t really had too much exposure to people other than those that I had known prior to the trip. Nor did I have any real air in my lungs, nor had I yet lacked air in my lungs. I missed that burn in the throat- not the one from the smoke that prevails over the oxygen everywhere in the city- but of a beating heart and screaming muscles. Of exercise and nature.
B) The second was the Super Bowl, the most American of all activities that could occur this far from the States. Sitting in the Hard Rock Café, with wings friends and a couple hundred other Americans.
The problem is that that high only lasts a few hours after the actual event.
I need something more.
I would do anything for a bike, for a car, for a cabin, for a …you name it.
I want to look out my front window and see mountains full of Evergreens not streets dotted with Palms.
Freshman year of college, I already considered Etown my home by this point. I probably know more people here, so I am not going to blame it on a language or social barrier. I just don’t think this is where I am.
I’m not here. I won’t be back soon.
I plan on leaving the city sometime Friday or Saturday. I saw on a map that there’s a velodrome just on the city’s edge and that sounds damn good to me.
The truth is that I have been so indifferent to everything my entire life that I didn’t think that anything could ever throw me. But here I am mid-air.
The advice my Uncle Kevin gave me the night before I came to Spain was:
“You just need to remember one thing; you’re and American and we’re the best. So long as you remember that you’ll be okay”
Not that this has anything to do with being American or not, but I really just like it there.
Word of the Day: contento- happy
Just so you guys know, as pessimistic as that entry sounds, I am having fun here. And sorry for all of you, but I’m not coming home early.. Like Sr. said about Granada it just wasn’t “his” Well, Barcelona isn’t mio. But I can deal with that.